Own Your Feelings

Do you ever feel as if your feelings aren’t your own?

Do you ever feel frightened by your feelings?

Many of the clients I see are often fearful and sometimes ashamed of their feelings. Feeling are normal.  If we put alcohol onto a wound it will hurt, yet we would not feel frightened or shameful of that painful sensation.  However, if we feel angry, mad, indignant, or sad, we may likely feel guilty of such feelings, as if experiencing such feelings is beneath our dignity.

It is possible to take ownership of feelings, even intense and “outrageous” feelings, with the knowledge that owning and experiencing feelings is very different from acting them out.  When we try to bury hurt feelings they usually resurface in a variety of not so pleasant ways, such as headaches, backaches, toothaches, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, skin disorders, and a plethora of other aches, pains, and emotional distresses.  It is of utmost importance that we take ownership of and stop being afraid of our feelings.  This will enable us to come to an understanding that we are capable and competent enough to feel without inappropriate acting out of those feelings.  Then we will begin to resolve and heal both emotionally and physically from things that used to torment us.

NOTE: By taking conscious ownership of our feelings, we no longer allow those feelings, and the suppressed memories that lay behind them to influence our current behavior, interactions, and activities.  The bottom line is: Own your feelings, don’t let your feelings own you.

Subscribe to the Effective Family Communication Support-Line for help with owning your feelings in a healthy, non-judgmental way.