Forgiveness is a Spiritual Trait

Forgiveness is a spiritual and uniquely human trait. Forgiveness means letting go of our resentments, of the aches and pains that people caused us, ones that we continue to perpetuate.  While there are many traits that humans share with various animal species, particularly with primates, forgiveness is spiritual, and spirituality is unique to humans.

Forgiveness really makes no logical sense when approached with logic, but as a friend once wisely told me, there doesn’t need to be an answer for every question.  Our ability and need to forgive is an illogical and unanswerable question.  Accepting that we may not understand why we were hurt, but reflecting on our own complexity and knowing that the person (people) who hurt us and caused us pain is just as complex as we are, we will be in a much better position to accept the frailty of those who have wronged us and forgive.

The capacity for self-reflection that leads to forgiveness is also a spiritual trait.  Many of the clients I see are in psychological, emotional, and ultimately spiritual pain both because of the wrongs committed against them as-well-as their inability (or unwillingness) to forgive.  As humans, we are the subject of many frailties, and it is only natural that we will be the cause of hurt, and likewise, be hurt ourselves.  It is for this reason that it is imperative for our mental, emotional, and even physical well being that we learn to forgive the wrongs committed against us.  We must also hope that others forgive the wrongs we may have committed, knowingly or unknowingly, against them.

I am reminded of a client of mine who was involved in gruesome hand-to-hand combat in warfare.  When he first came into my office there was something terrifying about him; he seemed like a human who had ceased being human.  Being unable to forgive himself and to believe his victims could forgive him, he began living a life on the streets.  He turned to heroin and alcohol to relieve the anguish he felt due to his perceived unforgivability.  Through therapy he learned to forgive himself, and came to view himself as being forgivable by others.

When we cultivate the trait of forgiveness, we transcend our animalistic  limitations, and become the unique humans we were created to be.