A for Appreciation (A-Z Happiness Guide)

Appreciation is perhaps the most fundamental trait to acquire for happy living.  Without it we are bound to find fault around every bend.  Without appreciation we will suffer needlessly from the endless voice of our internal critic finding fault with everything and everyone populating our lives.  With appreciation, no matter how hard the situation or circumstance is that we find ourselves in, we will find the inherent spark of goodness within that difficulty, we will learn the productive and valuable lessons that make hardship bearable.

In my work with recovering addicts we frequently speak about developing an “attitude of gratitude.”  It is gratitude, (i.e. appreciation) which is like sunshine on a cloudy day.  If recovering addicts indulge in a “pity party” by harping on “old wounds and past grievances” they are far more likely to relapse into their addiction than if they focus on, and appreciate, the positive.

Usually things are not black and white.  Even within disappointment there is often found success.  For instance a client I once worked with found a job after an extensive search.  However it was far beneath his skill level.  Nevertheless, instead of being disappointed in the job he rejoiced over having succeeded in acquiring a job.  His employer made note of his positive attitude and appreciation.  The employer realized how fortunate he was to have hired such an employee.  Within a short time this client worked his way up the ladder towards greater responsibility and higher pay.  Appreciation has a way of being appreciated.

Often times my child will ask me for a favor.  I’ll honor part of the favor but not another part.  Surely they are disappointed that they didn’t get the whole favor, but my responsibility, as a parent, is to help them appreciate the part of the favor that was honored.

The main way that appreciation will add happiness to your life is by enabling you to live feeling good about the good things that people have done for you.

Ways to make your life a life of appreciation:

• Always remember to say please and thank you (even when you don’t really mean it).
• Say a daily prayer of thanksgiving.
• Do a daily meditation (i.e. a few moments of reflective thought) about the good that has been given to you and done for you.
• Write a list of three-five people and things you appreciate.
• Write a thank you letter to someone who gave you something or did you a favor.