Learning to Love and Get Along with Ourselves and Others

Was John Muir a dreamer? Yes…and he was also a doer.

Was Jane Goodall a dreamer? Yes…and she was also a doer.

Was Martin Luther King Jr. a dreamer? Yes…and he was also a doer.

Was Eleanor Roosevelt a dreamer? Yes…and she was also a doer.

Was Mahatma Gandhi a dreamer? Yes…and he was also a doer.

You get the point…Be a dreamer and dream big.  And at the same time be a doer and do big.

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If you have nothing good to say, give a blessing.

If you have only good things to say, give a blessing.

Giving blessings to people is a great way to fall in love with humanity.

The more blessings you give, the more blessings you receive.  The more blessings you receive the better you feel in all aspects of your life.

What’s the formula for learning to love and get along with ourselves and others?

Give blessings freely and often to ourselves and others.  By so doing we will develop a great love for ourselves, others, and all humanity.

Yoga, or any meditative, stretching routine is a great way to loosen tight muscles and let go of unwanted tension. It’s hard to be happy when we’re stuck feeling miserable. Stretching and meditation, whether its Yoga, Tai Chi, Chi Qong, dance, or aerobics is a great way to loosen muscles while feeling life reinvigorate itself in your body.

The body is full of energy. When that energy is blocked we experience a constipation of sorts. We might not be able to put our finger on exactly why we’re feeling out of sorts, but the fact remains that we feel out of sorts. Yoga, Tai Chi, and Chi Qong are tailor made for realigning the energy points throughout our bodies, thereby allowing for a smooth, even flow of energy to circulate as it should.

Furthermore, few people would argue that massage is one of life’s little (and sometimes big) pleasures. When we do Yoga and/or Tai Chi, we are in effect gently yet deeply massaging out muscles, joints, ligaments, skeletal, cardiovascular, and respiratory systems. The massage provided by these exercises provides the deep cleansing and relaxation needed to successfully navigate stressful times.

A major difference between Yoga and Tai Chi/Chi Qong is that Yoga originates from India and is done primarily in sitting or lying positions of the floor, while Tai Chi and Chi Qong originate in China and are primarily done either in a standing position (or even while walking). I personally prefer Tai Chi and Chi Qong because I like to stand and walk.

Yoga, Tai Chi, and Chi Qong will add happiness to your life by allowing for an even flow of energy to circulate undisturbed throughout your body, thereby enhancing your immune system and allowing you to feel calm and serene even in the face of uncertainty and adversity.

Here are some resources to help you get started with a Yoga, Tai Chi, and Chi Qong Routines:

http://yoga.about.com/

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/channeln/2008/07/oh-happiness.html

http://life.gaiam.com/gaiam/p/Yoga-Answers-and-Solutions-Goto-Guide.html

Complete Idiot’s Guide to T’ai Chi and QiGong (Book & DVD)

How do you feel after a good workout? In all probability you feel great (albeit maybe a bit sore).

Exercise is a must for happy living. It makes no difference whether we get a lot of exercise or a little, the main thing is (as the Nike commercial says), we “Just do it.”

When I was a child my parents put me into swimming lessons.  I am glad that I learned to swim but I must admit that I am not an avid swimmer.  When I was a bit older I was in Little League and Soccer League.  Most of my time was spend either on the dug out or the sidelines.  Every now and then I would join my mom for a jog but when the stitch in the side came, I decided that jogging wasn’t for me either.  However on the weekends my dad and I used to go hiking.  Hiking, with its room for solitude, introspection, and inclusion of natural beauty was an ideal sport for me.

When I got into high school a friend of mine introduced me to rock climbing.  Similar to hiking with inclusion of natural beauty, the outdoors, solitude, and introspection, rock climbing also combined the benefits of physical strength, agility, dexterity, as well as camaraderie (i.e. your climbing partner).  Being on that rock felt great physically, emotionally, and mentally.  After finishing a hard climb I felt as if I could tackle the world.  A self-esteem booster par-excellence.

Most recently, I’ve taken up Tai Chi.  Tai Chi includes stretching, deep breathing, self-discipline, and the martial arts.  It strengthens the mind, body, and spirit with a single 30-minute workout.

Regardless whether its basketball or ice hockey, bicycling or running, working out feels great and eliminates much of the emotional toxins such as anxiety and depression that contaminate our society as well as our everyday lives.  As a therapist, I have literally seen clients healed through exercise (or conversely fall into depressive episodes or anxiety due to a lack of exercise).

Exercise will add happiness to your life by clearing out the toxins that inhabit your body; thereby allowing you to feel great physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Additionally, you will find that you are better equipped to handle the situations that come up in your life.

Here are some more reasons to exercise:

Improve your mood.

Boost your self-esteem.

Stay fit.

Stay nimble.

Strengthen your cardiovascular muscles.

Strengthen your respiratory muscles.

Improve your immune system.

Improve your digestive system.

Feel good about yourself.

Here are some simple exercise routines to consider:

Shooting hoops at your local basketball court.

Jogging.

Running.

Taking a Karate (or other Martial Arts) class.

Taking an aerobics class (either in person or using a video).

Take dance lessons.

Swim.

Go for a bike ride.

Go canoeing, kayaking , or row boating.

Take a hike on a difficult mountain trail.

Climb a rock.

Play ball.

Recommended Reading:

Fitness For Dummies (For Dummies (Health & Fitness))

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Fitness

Whether we wish to recognize it or not, we are dependent on one another.  Simon and Garfunkel sang, “I am a rock, I am an island.”  Such an independent person would not be happily, in fact, such a person would be downright miserable.

In order to live happy and meaningful lives, we need to recognize our dependence on others and others’ dependence on us.

We should accustom ourselves to being of service to others and be eager and willing to allow others to be of service to us when necessary.  Only by erasing the fallacy of our independence will we allow ourselves to live meaning saturated lives in the shelter of each other.

Walking is perhaps the best medicine…and it’s free!!!

Remember when you were a kid and you stubbed your toe and your mom or dad told you to walk it off. After taking a few steps that stubbed toe felt all better. As adults we have all sorts of “stubbed toes,” usually of the emotional variety. Regardless of whether it’s hurt feelings, a migraine, or lower back pain, walking it off is easy, effective, and free. Sometimes we can walk ourselves out of depression and into greater happiness and self-actualization.

Several years ago I was working with a client over the phone. He was in a severe and long lasting depression. At the encouragement of a mentor, who said that brisk thirty minute walks have been proven to release the same chemicals in the brain as the anti-depressant agents found in SSRIs, I encouraged this client to go for a walk while he spoke to me on his cell phone. Having done so, this client came to the conclusion that he was more comfortable living in the familiarity of depression than the newness of happiness. At this point in the therapy the client knew what he had to do if he wanted to feel better, but there was nothing left for me to do. The choice was his: walk it off or sit with it.

While in college a very good friend of mine suffered a terrible spinal cord injury. Through extensive rehabilitation he was able to regain much use of both his upper and lower body. Nevertheless, he still battled with depression, as his body was not as strong as it had been before his injury. On one occasion he asked his doctor for a prescription or recommendation to alleviate the depression. The doctor told him that the best cure for emotional ailments is to take a W.A.L.K.

When faced with hardship and adversity, many of my native friends and acquaintances in Montana would walk into the mountains and forests where they would seek answers and resolutions to their dilemmas. Walking, regardless of whether its in the mountains and forests of Montana or in the cityscape of Manhattan or San Francisco has a soothing and clarifying effect on our minds, bodies, and spirits. In fact when I was still in Montana struggling with the question of whether or not to adopt a traditional Jewish lifestyle, much of my decision making was done on walks.

Walking will add happiness to your life by allowing you to release unwanted and unhealthy tension, breathe deeply, take in beautiful scenery, clarify your thoughts, and tone your mind, body, and spirit.

Tips for walking:

Wear comfortable footwear.

Wear comfortable clothing.

Drink fluids and stay hydrated.

Walk for 20-30 minutes every day.

Take in the scenery.

Breathe in the air around you.

Nod to passers by.

Take walking breaks.

Punctuate your walking by sitting on comfortable rocks and benches.

Set a thinking agenda (i.e. things to think about and clarify as you walk).

Don’t have any agenda, just let things happen naturally.

Notice something new and surprising.

Notice something old and familiar.

Walk briskly for an invigorating experience.

Walk slowly for a relaxing and meditative experience.

Surprise yourself.

Make strides.

Take baby steps.

Delight in your steps.

Suggested Reading:

Walking by Henry David Thoreau

A Hike For Mike: An Uplifting Adventure Across the Sierra Nevada for Depression Awareness by Jeff Alt

Tai Chi Walking: A Low-Impact Path to Better Health by Robert Chuckrow

ChiWalking: Fitness Walking for Lifelong Health and Energy by Danny and Katherine Dreyer

(This guest article does not necessarily reflect the opinions of Effective Family Communication).

Weighing the Benefits and Risks of Depression Treatment Options
Clinical depression currently affects millions of individuals per year, and experts estimate that nearly 15 percent of all Americans will experience the condition at some point in their lifetime. While symptoms of depression may vary among individuals, patients generally experience recurring episodes marked by a change in appetite or sleeping patterns, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, reduced interest in daily activities and reduced concentration, among others.
While the exact cause of depression is unknown, a number of factors may play a role in the development of the condition. Such factors include brain chemical imbalances, hormonal changes, genetics and life circumstances, among others. A number of medications used to treat unrelated conditions may also induce depression as an unwanted side effect. Accutane, a medication used to treat acne, and birth control pills such as Yaz are just a few of the many popular drugs that have been linked to depression.
With an increasing number of individuals seeking medical treatment for depression, the amount of antidepressant medications available for patients continues to expand. Patients can currently choose from one of the five main types of antidepressants, which include selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), atypical antidepressants, tricyclic and tetracyclic antidepressants and monoamine oxidase (MAO) inhibitors.
While these medications work in different ways, they all strive to alter levels of certain chemicals in the brain believed to play a key role in the development of depression. These chemicals include the neurotransmitters known as serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine. By affecting concentrations of these substances, antidepressant medications may help alleviate important chemical imbalances.
Antidepressants are not without side effects, however. Certain antidepressants, such as MAO inhibitors, can cause fatal increases in blood pressure, and are generally only used in patients who do not respond to alternative treatment options. Tricyclic and tetracyclic antidepressants are also not typically used as first-line treatment options because of their potential to cause a number of disruptive side effects such as drowsiness, dry mouth, weight gain and constipation.
SSRIs and SNRIs are some of the newest antidepressants to hit the market and are being turned to frequently because of their low potential for undesirable side effects, as well as their low potential for dangerous interactions with other medications. Popular SSRI and SNRI medications include Prozac, Zoloft and Cymbalta. However, SSRIs and SNRIs are not necessarily side effect-free and have been associated with nausea and sexual dysfunction.
While patients are turning to antidepressants in increasing numbers, recent studies show that patients who undergo psychotherapy in addition to medical treatment usually experience better results than those who undergo treatment with antidepressants alone.
Additional information about drugs and drug side effects may be found on Drugwatch.com.